


Impostor

by Red Dragon (Red_Dragonn)



Category: Licanius Series - James Islington
Genre: Angst, Gen, I Tried, longfic, this literally only took me 15 minutes dont expect too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:24:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15976037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Dragonn/pseuds/Red%20Dragon
Summary: based off the song of the same title by Red





	Impostor

**Author's Note:**

> this is called: procrastinating on my longfic

> It’s coming undone
> 
> This world that I made
> 
> I feel it descending now
> 
> The place that I run
> 
> Or what I run from
> 
> The boundary begins to fade

Aarkein Devaed was a name he chose for himself to distance himself from the creature that he was told he needed to become. Aarkein Devaed.

He hated it so much. But it was necessary, wasn’t it?

Except he knew it wasn’t. And that was the worst part. 

> Every word’s a trap to your lies
> 
> Every life you try to save dies
> 
> You hold the truth like a knife
> 
> You couldn’t leave it behind

He tried so hard. Every time El gave him a task, he did it. He did it as well as he could. El wanted to save lives, didn’t they? He did what he could.

But it wasn’t working. He knew in the core of himself that it wasn’t right. And what he’d learned…

No. 

El wasn’t what he’d thought El was. Just like Nethgalla, El was a liar, a false face put over an incomprehensible being with unutterable goals. 

And so Aarkein Devaed was a tool. A weapon in the hands of someone Tal had never wanted to give a weapon. 

And he couldn’t find his way back.

> You’re my impostor
> 
> I’m a shadow lost deep inside

He stared into the glass of the window and looked at the reflection of someone else’s face against the dark backdrop of a clouded night sky. Everything he was, everything ever become, was marked by death. 

He didn’t even know how to start to change. He didn’t know anything. He didn’t know what he was  _ doing _ \-- was it even  _ possible _ to fix what he’d done? What they’d all done?

It seemed hopeless. 

But with what he’d learned…

> Now how does it feel
> 
> As you crawl away
> 
> The damage you left for me
> 
> I drink from your gaze
> 
> A new masquerade
> 
> I feel your disease growing

His life was not his own, and it hadn’t been since the first time he’d touched kan. 

But no more would he serve a dark god. 

No more would he serve El’s ends. 

But was there anything he could do that wasn’t according to El’s own plan? 

> You need a villain to save
> 
> You left me here in my grave
> 
> You came and took it away
> 
> This innocence that I cannot replace

He couldn’t rely on anyone any more.

> Tell me that you were never real
> 
> You need another soul to steal
> 
> You’re my impostor
> 
> You tell me you were never really real

Not even himself.

> Impostor, my impostor
> 
> Impostor, impostor


End file.
